


The Plank

by Enchant



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Balloon debate, Clear the air, Fluff, Funny, Pirates, Shipwrecks, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 08:48:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1892724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchant/pseuds/Enchant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goofy little story based off 'balloon debates'. The premise is simple: the hot air balloon is sinking, someone needs to be thrown overboard to save the others, and you have to argue why you're worth keeping on board. Usually people in the balloon argue this as a famous person: actors, inventors etc. I've changed this to fit Dragon Age, so it will be on a boat and somebody will have to walk the plank.  Includes the whole DA2 cast. Posted on Ff.net too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hawke clapped his hands together, and his companions all turned to look at him from their places around Varric's long table. "Right, we are having a game night at my house in a few nights. No excuses, I want you all there," Hawke firmly stated with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Hawke, whatever you're planning, I can't I have to–"

"I told you, Aveline, no excuses!" he growled, she folded her arms and pushed out her lip, and Hawke gave her a smug smile. "Any other protests?" He looked around, daring anyone to object, none did.

"What kind of games are we playing?" Isabela purred, running her eyes up him yet again.

"Bela, you've already seen what lies beneath, there's no need to undress me with your eyes."

"Oh, but it's so much fun," she hummed. "And you didn't answer my question, sweet thing."

"It will be a debate," he answered cheerily. Anders, Fenris and Varric all groaned.

"Don't we argue enough as it is?" Anders groused with a long sigh.

"I wouldn't call them arguments, so much as you preaching to everyone about the  _plight_  of mages," Fenris retorted with a snort.

The mage's head snapped toward the elf, his lip curling in disgust. "I only go on about it because I seem to be the only one that cares!"

"Oh I don't know, a healthy debate might be good for us," Sebastian said, adding his two coppers worth.

"Thank you," Hawke earnestly said to the Chantry brother. "All we seem to do lately is bicker, I am sick of wandering around these streets with you lot following behind snapping at one another. So we are going to clear the air."

"I like debates, what will we be debating?" Merrill chirped, almost bouncing in her seat.

Hawke grinned. "We will be debating who gets kicked off a sinking ship."

"What!?" Merrill's already large eyes nearly popped out of her head. "But we don't have a ship, do we?" She looked around rather confusedly. "And why is it sinking?"

"Merrill, it's a game," Hawke sighed, exasperated. "We all pretend we're on a sinking boat and someone needs to be thrown overboard to stop the entire thing from going down. So you'll need to argue your usefulness. Anders for example could say he is a healer – those are mighty handy to have," Hawke explained, and Anders smiled smugly. "You'll have to persuade the others you're worth keeping on board."

"Oh, that sounds like fun!" Merrill cheered.

"What's the catch, Hawke? You've got an evil glint in your eyes," Varric asked suspiciously.

Hawke grinned wickedly. "You won't be debating as yourself. You will all pick a name out of a hat and have to debate as them, for the entire evening."

They all groaned.

"Will this involve dressing up?" Aveline moaned, rubbing her forehead with one hand as her other cupped her mug.

"It is entirely up to you how far you take the game, but I get the final vote on who gets the plank – so points for effort could come in handy."

"This sounds like a terrible idea, Hawke," Varric offered, finishing off his drink and topping it up once more.

"I would have thought you'd be up for this, Dwarf, don't you love a good story? This evening could make for some mighty fine entertainment."

"Well whoever ends up with me isn't laying their hands on Bianca, I don't trust any of your dirty fingers, yours especially Rivaini." Varric shot Isabela a look and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"All right," Hawke stated. "Time to pick a name out of the hat, and you're not allowed to tell anybody! And when you turn up at my house for the game night I expect you to  _be_  that person all evening, no breaking character!"

Hawke pulled out the hat and held it in front of Sebastian first; the archer took a deep breath and dunked his hand in, removing it a second later with a small white piece of paper. He gingerly opened it, and then his face paled and he made an undignified choking sound.

Hawke stifled a giggle, but told him to not say a word and moved on to Merrill. This continued for some time until he got to Fenris who was fidgeting nervously in his seat. Hawke 'accidentally' dropped the hat on the ground along with the final name and took a quick glance at it before handing it to Fenris with a small smile. The elf gave a slight nod of his head in thanks, his shoulders sagging in relief. Hawke was still teaching Fenris his letters, and knew Fenris wouldn't be able to read something like that just yet.

"Okay, everyone has their name. You have three days to prepare arguments and dress-up materials. On the night you will be known as a mix of your name and your new persona. For example if I were taking part in it and pulled my brother's name out of the hat, my name would be Hawver." He burst out laughing as did his companions. "And that is why I didn't invite him." He snorted. That and the fact he was in the sodding Templars now.

"Why aren't you taking part, Hawke? That doesn't seem fair," Merrill worried.

"Because I'm the captain of the ship," he said, with a wink to a put-out Isabela.

"Then I vote we mutineer and throw you off and be done with this entire thing," Anders scoffed.

Hawke arched an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Any who want to mutineer have to fight me first and I promise you won't win," he mock growled.

Anders rolled his eyes and sighed. Hawke looked at everyone else; some of his companions looked excited others were clearly not happy with their new personas. Hawke merely smiled and told them all to head home.

Hawke walked back with Fenris to their mansions in Hightown; Fenris was very quiet for most of the journey and then finally spoke up, "Thank you, Hawke, for not embarrassing me."

"You won't be thanking me when I tell you who you have." Fenris looked at him expectantly and Hawke grinned. "Let's just say your name on the night will be Fenders." The elf frowned momentarily and then his dark brows leapt up his head in realisation.

" _Anders?"_  he hissed.

Hawke chortled in an undignified way and tears pricked his eyes. "'Fraid so," he laughed, slapping the elf on the back.

Fenris' shoulders sagged and he let out a long sigh. "And I have to think of his  _uses?_ " He shuddered.

Hawke nodded with a laugh. "And you should probably wear something with feathers," Hawke quipped with a sideways smile.

"You realise this night of yours will only end in further bickering, yes?"

"Perhaps, at least it will be entertaining though!" He stopped outside of his estate and grinned at the elf. "I'll see you in a few nights. You're intelligent Fenris; I'm sure you'll think of some useful qualities for Anders, it can be absolutely anything."

Fenris nodded and bade him good night.

Hawke entered his mansion and laughed; it was either going to go horribly wrong or hilariously well. He hoped it would be the latter.


	2. Chapter 2

Hawke had converted his main hall into a 'ship'; he had a large wooden wheel tied to the balcony at the top of the stairs, and had put crates and netting around the hall. The edges of the room were lined with tables to signal the edge of the boat, and over one of the tables was a long plank of wood. Hawke was wearing his most  _piratey_  outfit, with a parrot on his shoulder and a patch over his eye. His already thick beard and mop of dark hair only served to sell his role of captain more, and the large black fanned hat he wore on his head was the perfect final touch. He had rum and ale for everyone to drink, and he had put down a blue sheet on the ground to symbolise the ship beginning to flood. He was quite proud really, and he hoped his companions would make the same amount of effort as he had. He had also given Bodahn and Sandal the night off, and his mother was out at one of her parties, so it was a free house.

There were a few quiet knocks at the door and Hawke made his way to let them in. He opened it, and immediately burst out laughing. Aveline stood, smiling sweetly, dressed all in green with a long stick on her back; her clothes were decorated with flowers – specifically daisies. Hawke opened the door for her and ushered her in; she  _skipped_  past him and into the entrance way, looking around in an excited manner.

"Ooh, I'm not early am I? This was the right time, wasn't it?" she asked frantically her big green eyes darting around the room.

"Aye Averrill, it's t' right time, 'nd don't worry t' others must just be late." He tried not to smirk but it was very difficult. "Would ye like a tour o' t' ship?"

Averrill jumped up and down and nodded her head. "I've never been on a pirate ship before, this is a pirate ship isn't it? Only you have a parrot on your shoulder and an eye-patch and that's what Varric's stories always describe them as."

"Aye, it's a pirate ship!"

"Oh and that's the plank?" she looked at it nervously, her hands twisting in front of her. "I don't want to be thrown overboard."

He handed her a drink. "Well, let's hope you prove persuasive enough then," he said with a laugh.

There was another knock at the door; Hawke left Averrill to settle into a seat with her drink. He answered it and burst out laughing once again; he wasn't very good at being an angry captain, apparently. Fenris stood in the doorway wearing a long feathered cloak and big boots. Half of his face was streaked with blue lines and his left eyelid was painted a bright blue which he kept closed, the other half of his face was normal and there was a toy kitten on his shoulder.

"Welcome, Fenders, or is it Fenderstice?" he asked through a giggle.

The Anders half of his face pulled up into a smile, while the other half remained stoic. "Fenderstice will do nicely." Hawke nodded and let him in; Fenderstice alternated between drawing his staff and looking for threats, and cooing at the kitten on his shoulder.

"What be t' kitten's name?" Hawke asked gruffly.

Fenderstice stroked the kittens chin thoughtfully. He looked back up with a smug smile. "This is Ser Possessed-a-lot." Hawke snorted loudly and led Fenderstice through to the ship's deck.

Hawke gave handed Fenderstice some rum and he immediately began to argue with himself about whether or not to drink. In the end Justice won out and Fenderstice placed the glass on the floor, and took a seat well away from Averrill. Fenderstice shot her a glare, and held his staff at the ready, in case there were signs of demonic possession. Averrill was humming to herself, completely oblivious to Fenderstice, and then she noticed the kitten and started crooning at it.

"Step closer and you will feel Justice's burn!" Fenderstice bellowed at Averrill, and she leapt back to her seat with a small cry.

"I was just looking!" she squeaked.

There was another knock at the door and Hawke answered it to an armoured Merril covered in white markings with spiked shoulders and a soft-toy sword in her hands. Her back was slightly slumped and she was frowning, which was just the most unusual expression on the little elf; she also had a white wig on her head, no shoes on and had darkened her eyebrows. To her left was Varric dressed in white armour with a long-bow on his back.

Hawke welcomed them in, Menris nodded her thanks, and Vabastian said, "Maker's blessin's on yae" as he passed Hawke by. The long bow bumped and dragged along the ground as he walked, and it was only then that Hawke saw what was on the back of Varric's leather trousers – the words 'Andraste's Arse'. Hawke hunched over with laughter and Vabastian turned to look at him with a quizzical look.

"Wa' somethin' funnae, Hock?" Vabastian queried politely in his thick accent.

Hawke had tears in his eyes as he waved him off. He finally composed himself and offered his new guests a drink.

"Noi, lad," Vabastian politely refused, though there was an annoyed glint in his eyes which Hawke didn't think the  _real_  Sebastian would have had; he made a mental note to deduct points for that.

Menris nodded at Hawke. "Any wine?" she said in as deep a voice as she could manage.

"'Fraid not, Menris. Will rum do?"

"I have not tried it before. But yes, thank you." Hawke handed her the drink and she took a seat away from both Averrill and Fenderstice who were shooting her glares. Vabastian took a seat next to Menris, and sat with his back straight and hands clasped in front of him. Hawke left to answer the door again as Vabastian asked Fenderstice about his cat.

Menris, having only just noticed the cat, let out undignified squeal before coughing loudly and saying she had a flashback of a memory. Hawke could practically feel Fenderstice's glare even with his back turned to them all.

Hawke answered the door yet again, his eyes dropped a lot lower than he thought would be necessary, and found Anders on his knees with shoes attached to them; he was wearing a dusty leather jacket and a very low-cut, open necked shirt with a gold necklace around his neck. On his shoulder rested a crossbow and he grinned up at Hawke.

"Come on in Andrric," Hawke chuckled. "That be a very nice crossbow you have thar."

Andrric nodded. "This is Bianco, he's a  _fiend_  with the ladies." He arched an eyebrow with a wicked grin, as he patted it fondly.

Hawke snorted and closed the door behind him.

They both walked in to the main hall, well, Andrric waddled, just as Fenderstice announced that the cat's name was Ser Possessed-a-lot. Andrric nearly choked from Hawke's side before composing himself, and Fenderstice shot him a smug smile. Hawke then offered Andrric some rum and the 'dwarf' took a seat next to Menris and Vabastian.

Vabastian eyed the crossbow that Andrric was stroking cautiously. "You seem close with your crossbow."

Andrric gave him a charming smile. "Bianco is the love of my life, he loves to be stroked. Would you like to rub him?"

Vabastian managed a furious blush. "Oh no I, cannae do tha'." Andrric shrugged and took a long swig of his drink, a smirk on his lips.

Another loud knock hailed Isabela; she marched in wearing the grey and orange armour of the guard, albeit a very low-cut and shortened version. She wore a red wig on her head and had dotted her face with freckles; it was the miniature size battering ram she held under her arm though that had Hawke hunched over once more in laughter.

"Sorry if I'm late, Hawke, my patrol ran late," she sternly said.

"That's quite all right Isaline, please come in."

He eyed the shield on her back with a frown. "Isaline, is that a Templar shield on your back?"

Isaline smirked slightly. "You have no idea what I had to do to get it." She winked.

Isaline took a seat with Andrric and helped herself to some ale. Hawke noticed Averrill eyeing Isaline distastefully before sighing and sipping her drink once more.

Hawke looked around his ship trying to figure out who was missing, by this point his companions were all eyeing each other, some with smiles others with glowers, and then Hawke burst out laughing once more; Sebastian wasn't here yet.

There were several quick knocks at the door and Hawke rushed to open it, admitting Sebastian in. The Prince was covered in a cloak and his cheeks were crimson. He took a deep breath and then he let his cloak drop to the floor; Hawke dropped to his knees with laughter, his stomach twisting in pain. Sebastian was wearing knee-high boots, a bandana on his head, and a short white shirt that barely covered his ass, with two watermelons stuffed down it. He flicked his imaginary hair away from his shoulder and  _strutted_  into the main hall, where he grabbed a bottle of rum and downed a long swig. Everyone watched utterly astonished until they could no longer hold in their laughter.

Sebela scoffed. "Just because you wish you had legs like these," he hummed as he ran his hands up a muscled thigh, and everyone howled with laughter again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support, kudos and comments. It's a soppy ending and not as funny as chapter 2 but I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Once everyone had stopped hooting with laughter, Hawke ventured up the steps to stand at the 'helm' of his ship. "Alright, ye land lubbers, this 'ere ship be sinking, an' one o' you 'as t' walk the plank!" he bellowed down at them. "So, who's it goin' t' be?"

A chorus of voices rose up to argue who they thought should leave, but Captain Hawke silenced them with a wave of his hand and a squint of one eye. "Oh, aye, ye all want t' stay, well ye 'av t' fight for it." Everyone drew their weapons. "Not that kind o' fight!" Hawke boomed. "I don't expect us t' be all civilised 'nd t' like, but we're goin' t' 'av a good ole fashioned debate! Who 'ere wants t' start?"

"Ooh can I?" Averrill asked, her arm shooting into the air. "Please pick me! I've never been in a debate before!" She bounced in her seat, her green eyes wide with excitement.

"Aye! Off ye' go then!"

"Off? Not the plank? I haven't said anything yet!" she blabbered.

Captain Hawke sighed. "No, Averrill, I meant state your reasons for bein' kept on board."

"Oh, yes of course, silly me! Well, umm, I'm very good at picking flowers, although I suppose that wouldn't help out at sea, would it?" She pulled at her green dress awkwardly. "Are we supposed to be using pirate talk?" She looked around frantically. "Arghh! That's what pirates do, right?" she muttered. "Oh! I'm also very good at spotting interesting clouds, our ship is indoors though, so again, that's not very useful. Sorry," she mumbled, both her hands now gripping her mug tightly.

"The blood mage is a threat to us all, the demon she courts could possess her at any moment," Fenderstice boldly stated, holding his staff tightly in his hand. " _She_  should walk the plank."

Averrill pouted. "But he's a very nice demon!"

"There's no such thing!" Andrric shouted, before clearing his throat. "Daisy," he added sheepishly.

Menris looked hurt and shot a glare at Andrric and Fenderstice. "What about  _you_ , Abomination," she spat, as she tried to puff out her chest. " _Your_  demon could kill us all if it deemed it ' _just_ ', you nearly killed that young mage!"

Andrric growled into his drink, eyes momentarily flashing blue as he refrained from saying more. Fenderstice stood, markings flaring. "I am no demon!" he boomed at Menris.

"Lads, why donnawe all take a seat again?" Vabastian said soothingly. Reluctantly, Fenderstice returned to his seat, his markings dimming.

"All right," Hawke shouted. "Averrill, if you're done for now, why don't we move on t' someone else? Fenderstice, you seem t' 'av' a lot t' say?"

Fenderstice nodded and stood. "I am a healer, the  _only_  healer here, as the blood mage knows no such spells, and no offence, Captain" he looked up at Hawke, "but you're better at setting things on fire."

"Aye!" Hawke heartily replied.

"I would also do harm to any enemies that might try to cripple this vessel further in our aggrieved state. They will feel Justice's burn for such a boorish action," the Justice part of Fenderstice finished. "I also have a cute kitten," the Anders part added as he rubbed noses with the feline."

"Then why don't we throw  _you_  overboard and keep Ser-Possessed-a-lot," Averrill suggested.

"Perhaps that is the spirit she has allied herself with," Menris suggested meekly. "I mean demon," she said more firmly, trying desperately to stay in character.

Fenderstice glared at Averrill and Menris before tutting. "And I can do that  _electricity_  thing," he purred with a waggle of his eyebrows, aimed at Sebela, who was momentarily stunned before giving him a wink back.

"Surely doing your  _electricity_  thing, around all this flood water is unwise," Isaline countered with a slight crinkle of her nose.

"Oh, don't be such a prude," Sebela retorted. "I  _like_  his electricity thing."

Isaline folded her arms, smirking slightly. "You like everything, Whore."

"You're just jealous of these, Big Girl," Sebela said as he groped the large water melons pressing against his tunic. One of the  _breasts_  popped out and rolled across the  _deck_  and Sebela leapt to his feet to chase it down. It landed at Averrill's feet and her eyes went wide.

"Oh uhh! Let me get that for you," she chirped as she picked up the large fruit.

"Can you tuck it back in, Kitten?" Sebela purred.

Averrill blushed furiously as she lifted Sebela's tunic, revealing washboard abs, and pushed the melon up to sit next to its twin. Sebela wiggled them until they were comfortably back in place, then he grinned and winked at Averrill.

"Thanks, sweet thing." He sauntered back to his seat, hips swaying.

"Alright! Menris, you're next!" Hawke shouted down to his motley crew.

"Oh right, ummm. Ahem," she cleared her throat. "Well, I glow in the dark, which is handy, I think," she said in the deepest voice she could muster. "I'm also very protective, especially of you, Captain." She winked at Hawke, and he blushed furiously, Fenderstice also cleared his throat very loudly, his pointed ears turning pink as he glared at Menris. "It should be one of the mages who is thrown overboard; the blood mage or the abomination, or both."

Everyone looked to Fenderstice for a retort, and he sighed. "But I have a kitten! Don't you like kittens, Menris?" The Anders side of Fenderstice cooed. "He's so fluffy."

"And would you really throw me overboard?" Averrill asked, giving everyone puppy eyes. "I just want to help my clan; the elves have suffered so much."

"If we're doing sob stories then it would be incorrigible to throw me overboard," Menris said. "I only just won back my freedom, only just fell in love for the first time," she said as she stared lovingly at Hawke. The Captain nearly choked and Fenderstice went pale as a sheet.

There were sniggers from several of his crew as Hawke regained his no-nonsense captain's composure. "There will be no sob stories aboard my ship! We are pirates and made of tougher stuff than that! Vabastian, you're up."

Vabastian stood and his bow knocked against the ground as he dusted down his armour. He placed his hands behind his back and cleared his throat. "Those who oppose thee shall know the wrath of heaven. Field and forest shall burn, the seas shall rise and devour them, the wind shall tear their nations from the face of the Earth, and lightning shall rain down from the sky. They shall cry out to their false gods and find silence."

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Did you just compare yourself to  _Andraste_?" Andrric asked incredulity. "I  _knew_  you were a pompous twat but that's just ridiculous!"

Vabastian and Sebela glared at Andrric. "That doesn't sound like something a charming dwarf would say," Vabastian scolded through the side of his mouth.

Andrric cleared his throat. "Right, Choir Boy. Do continue." He pulled out a small notepad and quill and started writing.

Vabastian snorted and straightened himself once more. "Keep me on board this ship and we shall make landfall safely thanks to the Maker's guidance."

"When has the Maker done  _anything_  to help anyone? He let his own bride burn!" Fenderstice spat. "I think we should throw  _you_  overboard. What good are you to anyone? We already have Andrric if we need an archer."

"Aw naw, ya cannae do tha to mae. Ma voice is far tae nice for tha'," Vabastian moaned.

"I'll say," Sebela hummed with a wink and Vabastian blushed slightly.

Hawke rubbed his temples; keeping track of everyone was getting difficult. "Sebela, it's your turn."

Sebela rose to his feet, a hand on his hip. "I'm a pirate, and I know how to steer your  _ship_. I'm also  _very_  good with my hands and know how to please; let's face it, if we're all stuck out here we might as well have fun, and for that you need me." He smiled brightly, winking at Hawke. "Have I mentioned I like eye-patches? And Parrots. And beards." Hawke shifted a little under Sebela's lurid stare.

Isaline snorted. "If we threw you overboard, Slattern, you'd probably float anyway."

"Oooh, that's my girl. But you can't tell me you haven't thought about this," he rubbed his watermelons. "I know you want me, Big Girl."

Isaline laughed. "No chance. I wouldn't touch you with a twenty-foot barge pole."

"A good thing you have a battering ram then." Sebela winked.

Isaline lifted her toy battering ram and waggled it at Sebela. "Careful or I'll shove it where the sun don't shine," she growled.

"Alright ladies," Hawke shouted. "Isaline the floor is yours."

"Oh like  _she_  knows how to put on a show," Sebela huffed as he sat back down.

Isaline rose to her full height and folded her arms. "Just any of you try to throw  _me_  over board," she threatened, still holding the battering ram. She looked every single person in the eyes; nobody tried to argue with her, and then took her seat once more with a smug smile.

"Andrric! Let's see if you can stay in character for your speech." Hawke motioned for him to stand.

Andrric sighed and slid off his chair onto his knees and cleared his throat. "Without me none of you would have met."

Everyone opened their mouths to argue that meeting everyone else had not been a good thing, but he silenced them with a wave of his hand.

"Broody," Andrric began looking between Menris and Fenderstice. "Because of us you killed Hadriana. You would never have made it through that slaver cave if it wasn't for Daisy fighting Hadriana's blood magic with her own, or for Blondie's healing magic, or even without myself or Rivaini disarming all the traps. Without Aveline you wouldn't have a home anymore because the guard would have removed you for squatting years ago. And if it weren't for Choir Boy you wouldn't have had anyone to talk to in your first year here when you were confused and conflicted about staying or leaving."

Fenderstice hung his head, realising the truth of his words.

Andrric looked to the Guard Captain, his eyes moving between Averrill and Isaline. "Aveline. Without myself, Captain Hawke and the Rivaini, you and Donnic never would have ended up together. Without Daisy you never would have planned out even half of your wedding arrangements, and if it weren't for Choir Boy asking the Grand Cleric, you probably wouldn't have gotten a date so soon in the height of summer. If not for Blondie, Donnic would have died that time you got ambushed when out on a date together. And if it weren't for Broody as our dedicated warrior, Hawke would have had to drag your ass out of that Keep of yours a lot more, and probably got you in a heap of trouble too."

Averrill smiled at them all, tears filling her eyes.

He looked at Averrill and Menris. "Daisy, without myself you would have been mugged I don't even know how many times. Without the Rivaini teaching you the rules you would have lost all of your coin and valuable possessions in drinking games your first week in the city. And you'd probably be dead without Broody and Blondie protecting and healing you. If not for Sebastian, that leak in your roof wouldn't have been fixed. And if it wasn't for Aveline, the Viscount would have had you arrested for picking flowers in his garden."

Menris was smiling widely, barely containing her need to hug everyone.

"Rivaini." Again Andrric looked at Sebela and Isaline. "How many times have we all been out looking for that relic of yours? Trudging through Maker knows what in search of the damned thing, through sewers and swamps and up mountains and across the coast. How many bar fights have we all rescued you from? How many men have we chased off?"

Isaline slumped back in her chair in acceptance.

"Choir Boy, we all helped you get revenge on your family's killers, tracking down those mercenaries all over the city and countryside. And we helped you kill a  _demon_  at the Harriman's estate. You've also made friends of us all when you didn't think you'd find happiness again after your family were murdered."

Sebela nodded thoughtfully.

"Umm Blondie, have they not  _all_  risked their lives to keep you safe from Templars? Don't you owe them for helping you with your clinic – bringing you food so you don't starve to death?"

He looked around at them all and then his eyes found Hawke who nodded at him with a teary smile. "My point is, every one of us has relied on others in our group to watch their backs at some point. We have all leant on one another when we were lonely or lost or just needed someone to listen to our troubles. We might all argue and bicker but we  _are_  all friends, most of the time," he added. "You can argue why people should be thrown off of the boat - and most of you have - but this was always a debate about why we should  _stay_. You're all valuable and you're all worth saving. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd rather sink with all of you than live with one of you gone."

With a firm nod Andrric hopped back up into his seat. Hawke wiped a tear from his eye and sniffed. They all looked to him, and he coughed to cover his embarrassment.

"Thank you, Andrric. That was a beautiful speech." He cleared his throat again. "All in favour of dying together, say aye!"

"Aye!" every single person bellowed.

Just then, Sandal ran in through the front door. "Enchantment?" He looked around excitedly. "Enchantment!"

"Oh, would ye look at that!" Hawke cheered. "The  _Sandal_  has come to rescue our crippled vessel!" They all cheered and got up and showered Sandal in hugs and kisses as Bodahn looked on with a confused grin. Master Hawke really did get up to some strange things in his spare time.


End file.
